Dumb Science Jokes
  • me: what are taxes and how do I pay them?
  • school system: worry not
  • school system: mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

Rutherford’s Chip Bag Experiment


Ernest Rutherford fires particles at a bag of chips and deduces that it is mostly empty space. He feels as though he’s been ripped off, even though he just spent a lot of money on an experiment when he could have just opened the bag. 

Science Proverbs


  • A watched column never elutes
  • When in lab, do as the postdocs
  • Fortune favors the precise
  • Good data is worth a thousand words
  • There’s no place like lab on the weekends
  • Too many undergrads spoils the project
  • One postdocs trash is another student’s thesis project
  • Don’t put all your data on one hard drive
  • A little bit of data is a dangerous thing
  • Don’t judge a grad student until you’ve pipetted a liter with their pipets
  • Don’t throw out the pellet with the supernatent
  • It’s no use crying over broken glassware
  • Calculate twice, mix once
  • Hope for the best, prepare for the worst